Headed to Hennepin Week 11
Oh Week 11. Where do I begin. I knew this week would be tough, with long back to back runs, but I never expected it to be as hard as it was. I struggled a lot, both physically and mentally and feel a bit raw in the aftermath.
The week started off well enough. I had a double run on Tuesday with my IL Oiselle team, and Thursday was a fast finish progression run. Because pacing has been an issue, I really prepared myself to run this workout very controlled. I came to the realization that I like to run however I feel on a particular day because I feel free, even when this means sometimes I run too fast and have no energy at the end. However, there is something to be said about the control of a progression run. I finally found strength and freedom in running very deliberately and controlled, and I was able to complete this run with my last mile as the fastest. I wouldn't say I am suddenly an expert in pacing, but I think I am learning how to hold myself back when I need to finish strong.
I went into the weekend expecting that it would be hard. I had plenty of runs last training cycle that were miserable, and I know the pain that comes from having to run long miles the day after a long run. Saturday was our IL Oiselle team picnic, so I woke up early and ran 12 miles solo before others would join me for the remaining 10. I practiced running super slow and easy, and the solo miles felt good. It wasn't until the top popped off my water flask and soaked me that I started to feel stressed. I was able to message one of my teammates to bring me a new flask, so I was able to work that out. Still, I felt rushed to make it back to the trailhead in time to meet the others, and I wasted energy worrying about some of the things I couldn't control. It was also horribly humid and I was soaked and despite changing my shirt, was still uncomfortable. After starting the second half the run, I reached down to clear what I thought was a rock in my shoe, but what turned out to be a hole in my sock. My ankle was rubbing against my shoes and bleeding out. What initially started out as an irritating discovery turned into an extremely painful experience in the later miles. Every time my ankle touched my shoe I felt pain. Pain that I tried to ignore, but was growing on top of every other pain I felt in my body. I couldn't keep my with my teammate, and I started walking. A lot. Thankfully I had another teammate on a bike who was with me for most of the miles and helped take my mind off some of the pain I had, but I felt so fatigued that I physically gave up and walked the last few miles in. While I am proud of finishing 22 miles that day, I was not happy with how the run went. I was disappointed that I felt so horrible, that I was unprepared for some of the issues I encountered, and that mentally I was not strong enough to get through the run.
I made sure to make recovery a priority so that Sunday's run would be better. I knew it would be hard because my legs already had 22 miles on them, but I was optimistic and trying for a better run. I hate to make excuses, but the heat and humidity on Sunday was brutal, and I spent every mile feeling like I couldn't breathe. I was just so tired of feeling wet. Soaked in my own sweat. Soaking for hours. I walked more than I probably ran, and while I had a few moments of enjoyment when I stopped on a bridge and felt a breeze, I really contemplated what the hell it was that I was doing. I wondered why it was that I was struggling so much. Why couldn't I push above the issues and focus on the positive? When I finally started to run again, I noticed an egret that was flying along next to me and thought, how beautiful! He landed ahead and I told myself to run to where he was. Once I got there, he started to fly ahead again. I ran ahead to where he was. This process continued for over a mile until I moved away from the canal. I don't think I would have made it through that last mile without following that bird. Some may think I am crazy for having a spirit animal, but I feel a connection with egrets and herons as they are a constant part of my running and training.
I felt really broken after both of these horrible runs. I had expected better of myself, and it really made me question why I was going to attempt 50 miles in just 6 weeks. I wrote a pretty pitiful email to my coach telling here all of these things, and her best advice was just to move on. She told me this isn't a reflection of how my race will go. These are things I already know, but I am so hard on myself. I've mentioned before my need to overcompensate for my lack of running skill with hard work. I felt like this weekend I didn't even have that. I was also getting angry with social media. At the fact that some people only portray running and training as fun adventures and products they want to promote, instead of the hard and dirty reality that it is. Why are we so afraid to show what it is really like? If all we ever show is the fun, then that is why it makes others feel like something is wrong when it is hard. Really hard. So I decided to be transparent and post my reality.
I had also ordered Kara Goucher's new book, Strong, but it had been sitting on my table for the last week. I hadn't felt particularly inspired to pick it up, but on Sunday I was. Immediately I felt connected to the message. The idea of a confidence journal was appealing, not so much in having another journal, but in focusing on the positive, no matter how the run went. I am going to work on doing this going forward. Regardless of the run overall, I am going to find one positive thing that I am proud of from that workout and jot it down so I have lots of positive things to look back on.
Thank goodness Week 12 is a recovery week. I need this not only for my body, but my mind too. I am going to focus a lot on self care this week. I don't have too many more weeks to go and I need to push Week 11 away and focus on where I want to be at the starting line of the Hennepin.
The week started off well enough. I had a double run on Tuesday with my IL Oiselle team, and Thursday was a fast finish progression run. Because pacing has been an issue, I really prepared myself to run this workout very controlled. I came to the realization that I like to run however I feel on a particular day because I feel free, even when this means sometimes I run too fast and have no energy at the end. However, there is something to be said about the control of a progression run. I finally found strength and freedom in running very deliberately and controlled, and I was able to complete this run with my last mile as the fastest. I wouldn't say I am suddenly an expert in pacing, but I think I am learning how to hold myself back when I need to finish strong.
I went into the weekend expecting that it would be hard. I had plenty of runs last training cycle that were miserable, and I know the pain that comes from having to run long miles the day after a long run. Saturday was our IL Oiselle team picnic, so I woke up early and ran 12 miles solo before others would join me for the remaining 10. I practiced running super slow and easy, and the solo miles felt good. It wasn't until the top popped off my water flask and soaked me that I started to feel stressed. I was able to message one of my teammates to bring me a new flask, so I was able to work that out. Still, I felt rushed to make it back to the trailhead in time to meet the others, and I wasted energy worrying about some of the things I couldn't control. It was also horribly humid and I was soaked and despite changing my shirt, was still uncomfortable. After starting the second half the run, I reached down to clear what I thought was a rock in my shoe, but what turned out to be a hole in my sock. My ankle was rubbing against my shoes and bleeding out. What initially started out as an irritating discovery turned into an extremely painful experience in the later miles. Every time my ankle touched my shoe I felt pain. Pain that I tried to ignore, but was growing on top of every other pain I felt in my body. I couldn't keep my with my teammate, and I started walking. A lot. Thankfully I had another teammate on a bike who was with me for most of the miles and helped take my mind off some of the pain I had, but I felt so fatigued that I physically gave up and walked the last few miles in. While I am proud of finishing 22 miles that day, I was not happy with how the run went. I was disappointed that I felt so horrible, that I was unprepared for some of the issues I encountered, and that mentally I was not strong enough to get through the run.
I made sure to make recovery a priority so that Sunday's run would be better. I knew it would be hard because my legs already had 22 miles on them, but I was optimistic and trying for a better run. I hate to make excuses, but the heat and humidity on Sunday was brutal, and I spent every mile feeling like I couldn't breathe. I was just so tired of feeling wet. Soaked in my own sweat. Soaking for hours. I walked more than I probably ran, and while I had a few moments of enjoyment when I stopped on a bridge and felt a breeze, I really contemplated what the hell it was that I was doing. I wondered why it was that I was struggling so much. Why couldn't I push above the issues and focus on the positive? When I finally started to run again, I noticed an egret that was flying along next to me and thought, how beautiful! He landed ahead and I told myself to run to where he was. Once I got there, he started to fly ahead again. I ran ahead to where he was. This process continued for over a mile until I moved away from the canal. I don't think I would have made it through that last mile without following that bird. Some may think I am crazy for having a spirit animal, but I feel a connection with egrets and herons as they are a constant part of my running and training.
I felt really broken after both of these horrible runs. I had expected better of myself, and it really made me question why I was going to attempt 50 miles in just 6 weeks. I wrote a pretty pitiful email to my coach telling here all of these things, and her best advice was just to move on. She told me this isn't a reflection of how my race will go. These are things I already know, but I am so hard on myself. I've mentioned before my need to overcompensate for my lack of running skill with hard work. I felt like this weekend I didn't even have that. I was also getting angry with social media. At the fact that some people only portray running and training as fun adventures and products they want to promote, instead of the hard and dirty reality that it is. Why are we so afraid to show what it is really like? If all we ever show is the fun, then that is why it makes others feel like something is wrong when it is hard. Really hard. So I decided to be transparent and post my reality.
I had also ordered Kara Goucher's new book, Strong, but it had been sitting on my table for the last week. I hadn't felt particularly inspired to pick it up, but on Sunday I was. Immediately I felt connected to the message. The idea of a confidence journal was appealing, not so much in having another journal, but in focusing on the positive, no matter how the run went. I am going to work on doing this going forward. Regardless of the run overall, I am going to find one positive thing that I am proud of from that workout and jot it down so I have lots of positive things to look back on.
Thank goodness Week 12 is a recovery week. I need this not only for my body, but my mind too. I am going to focus a lot on self care this week. I don't have too many more weeks to go and I need to push Week 11 away and focus on where I want to be at the starting line of the Hennepin.
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: 60-75 min
Wednesday: XT
Thursday: Fast Finish Progression run
Friday: Rest
Saturday: 20-24 miles long run
Sunday: 10-12 miles long run
Total: 43.3 miles
Wednesday: XT
Thursday: Fast Finish Progression run
Friday: Rest
Saturday: 20-24 miles long run
Sunday: 10-12 miles long run
Total: 43.3 miles
Comments
Post a Comment